Inspiration... who's your inspiration? i don't know why but for a couple of hours I've been thinking of that while trying to figure out what to put as my Facebook cover. And then my train of thought lend to actions (mine) and my "supposed" to be coming along song. And i i don't know why but i feel like I'm lacking inspiration. I just wish there was something or someone i don't know just a SIGN of INSPIRATION! Anyways besides my hunger for inspiration todays been pretty good and so has this weekend... kinda.. ish... ok now my bad thought just popped in my head. The bad thought thats been bugging me for quite a little while. Ok so here's the situation. I go to a canadian catholic school and all right? (btw they soo shouldn't even call it a "catholic" school like seriously) and honestly I'm not that popular, or pretty, or even sociable. Im just me (who ever that is) and well like most schools theres cliques. And well its not like a huge clique thing but theres your group of "friends" i guess you know the people you eat lunch with or partner up with when doing assignments. And honestly some of them are ACTTUALLy my friends while others are just... ya. But well it was last week after school i was gonna hang out with my friend Keturah and my "supposed" friend Rhiane too right? Well noafnec she aint that great of a friend. She bashed my sister to my face! Forgetting that she was my sister!! I mean i tired of some people seeing her as some wicked witch cause she's not! But she tried apologizing and i walked away but then i went back to hang out with Keturah but she was there and i thought i could just push it back to the back of my mind but i CANT!! Its driving my fucking bonkers!!! And truthfully I've been saying for what maybe 2 years now? that i needa make a change. In me, my life, in just stuff right? And well i guess stuff includes my "friends" cause anyone who bashes my sister. The girl who yes is a total pain in the ass and can be such a bitch sometimes (nobody else can call her that but me) and is rude and judgmental and is the older pretty tall thin one i can never compare to. Ya she's all of those things but she's also kind, loving, selfless, supportive, trusting (sometimes), funny, and most of all she's my sister. And ya she might not be my blood sister but heyy i remember back in Texas when i found out i was getting a sister i couldn't stop telling people (even if id already told them or if i didn't know them) cause i was getting one and i was glad.. :) and ya we've had lots of rough patches but in the end she'd always be there for me, telling anybody who calls me ugly, picks on me or anything to back the hell off and you know what its about time i return the favour... Don't you think?Anyways besides changing my friends and finding some real ones I'm also changing my house! :D Ya thats right we finally can move out of this crapy tiny rented canadian house that embarrasses me SO much! Haha! :) And were moving into a bigger house :) (still rented of course and in the same neighbourhood) but bigger, warmer(vibe), and better. And i feel like this is hopefully just the beginning of my changes. For this year more then the seasons are changing for me... Hopefully life will change for better or for worse... we'll see.
